something i wrote before new years eve

2023 is the year I turned 25, I feel some switch in my way of thinking and navigating life. If I were to choose one mantra to describe 2023 I would use “let things be.”

I experienced my first deep grief this year losing someone close to me. Last night I found myself staying up until 2 realising once again out of the blue that I’m never gonna see that person ever again (but maybe we’ll see each other in a better place). It’s true what they say about grief, it comes like waves. So when it hits? You just let it be.

I experienced getting a job this year. Not exactly my first job, but my first real employment. I’m still navigating responsibilities, knowing what to say and what not to say. I find myself driving home thinking about all the mistakes I made during my shifts, things I wish I had done better. And when the strikes of negative thoughts come crumbling down on me, what do I do? I just let it be.

I experienced defeat again this year. In the form of rejection, not winning a competition, not being disciplined enough to achieve the daily habits I aspire to have (and have been trying for the past 7 years). I drown in disappointment, and when I do, I just let it be.

Negative emotions will come and go, whether through negative life experience or even in good days when I can’t even pinpoint why everything feels wrong. The more I try to fight negative emotions the more it amplifies, as though I am teaching myself that these emotions are not okay, but they are. So I tell myself once again, I should just let it be.